Chatter Tongue Gossip

Thoughts on Love, Sex & Entertainment

Jon Gosselin – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

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It was reported Saturday night, Jon Gosselin was photographed with his penis hanging out at Accademia di Vino with some new blonde that was neither Kate Gosselin,  Hailey Glasspipeman nor Lindsay Lohan.

She was later identified as Kate Major, a reporter from Star, and there was talk of her “flirting shamelessly with Jon.”celebrity_birthday_party_LC1_0004_Layer_16_full

No! It couldn’t be, right? How could he leave his piece of ass secret fiancée and all-around elegant 22-year-old lady? This new Kate character didn’t even have a thongscandalous Facebook ready for the Internet to mine for porn party photos or a story of getting kicked out of fat camp for sneaking Panda Express. In other words, she just wasn’t good enough in bed for our Jon.

And just like that, Jon and Hailey soothed our rash fears and reunited after a week apart for a lovely trot stroll through Harlem Harriman State Park in the ghetto New York. They always know just what to do to keep us talking, sort of like another certain couple who shall not be named.  Adam and Kris?

According to voyers onlookers, the two were not shy about their flachulents love.

They held hands, hugged and sucked kissed; Hailey picked her nose a flower and placed it behind Jon’s ear and they played with each others genitals on the swings.

How romantic, how beautiful. Just imagine if there had been no paparazzi to capture the love radiating from these two. The world would be a safer darker place, for sure.

As for the timeline of when the pair started screwingdating, a source on J.Goss damage control Bull Shits swears to People that the devoted husband was masturbating “heartbroken, totally heartbroken” when Kate told him she was done with his small Asian cock  him, which actually “came in out of her mouth the blue.”

The two had been separated for a year prior to Kate screwing her body guard filing for divorce, according to the source, during which time Jon was not allowed to sleep in the couple’s bedroom. That was when he started partying, but the dating stuff didn’t begin until after the divorce papers were filed.

Nice try at demonizing Kate, source, but we all know they’re both the worst.

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July 21, 2009 - Posted by | Celebrity Gossip, Jon & Kate Plus 8 | , , , , , , ,

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